Show me the monet? Not on your nelly!

I love it, I don't want it to ever end.

BUT,  it's not for me. My son sat watching it with me said the words which must besaid in homes around the country during the x factor, dragons den, masterchef, probably even Jeremy Kyle  "You should go on there your paintings (singing, invention, cooking, dysfunctional relationships) are good enough to be on there"

Hmm. I shall leave that in the realm of the subjective. All I can say is that the people buying at the exhibition at the end was aimed at aren't necessarily people I have an affinity with and therefore aren't the people my work is aimed at. Trust me, I can be as pretentious and sycophantic as the next guy if that was what I wanted to do but I couldn't stand upand try to justify my work to people I'm not painting for. I love fine art in all it's forms, give me Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin over BobRoss And that Kincaide fella. But that's my choice, it's like fashion, home decor, music. I don't think anyone needs to apologise for what they like.

So it's fascinating to me. I'm not keen on the idea that these judges get to decide for everyone, but they're not, they're deciding for people like them, and that's legitimate init's own realm. The people who get rejected on that show may well find high adulation in another market. There's a difference between deciding what's good through a filter of cultural elitism and technical merit. There's a difference between fine art and pushing paint around. It matters not if the judgement is "would that looknice in the dining room with the purple wallpaper.

I've got no problem with anyone who embraces the format. I envy their confidence if nothing else. But for me- I'm not on a "journey"- I'm living my life. I've got hopes rather than dreams. I just have too much reality going on to be a part of reality tv.

;D

Ignoring creative block

I'm stuck- torn between directions for my work to take. Instead of agonising about it or "tackling it" which sounds a bit aggressive for a friday I'm doing the artistic equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and singing la la la  at the top of my voice.

But it's working. When I was at school I used to spend a lot of time drawing my favourite pop stars from magazines and so it feels like quite a nostalgic activity to look for photos of movie stars and fill my sketchbooks with them. It's like meditating. When I paint commission portraits, more often than not I trace the outlines to save a sudden realisation that eyes are too far apart when it's too late. So it's liberating to draw freehand and have no pressure to make the draiwng look like the subject.

In the process I'm definitely getting used to drawing faces which don't look like me. I had a real problem when I was painting nudes in that as I went along with painting, the face would gradually morph into mine. The lips especially. Tiny little changes in every layer of paint and the lip shape would be mine. I'd look back over photos I took of every layer and watch as I appeared.
When I've done a few more I'm going to pick out some of my discarded nudes and see what happens.

Then I'll work out what's going to happen on these blank canvases...